23.11.12 Friday and the morning after...

Wednesday and things that go by. Kind of strange Autumn fruit (blackberries, blueberries) +  the odd one out Summer fruit banana, oatmeal mix. It was actually really nice. Just it looks a bit gooey, and not very appetizing. ): 

And lots of tea for my throat, with wooly jumper and knit blanket. :) 

Went to Florence and the Machine concert yesterday (Thursday), and screamed myself hoarse again, throat is raw and I sound like a damn chain smoker, plus I'm really rather tired after all that, and just want to sleep all weekend long. ^^ Oh well, work must be done, and life goes on and such. Can't wait for the end of the day.

Started my Christmas shopping on Wednesday, already have a few stocking fillers for my mum and sister, just need to find some for my dad now. 

So mostly Essie nail polish/varnish, I felt the Pink Trophy wife was appropriate for my mum, while the pastel colour is definitely more my sister's style. :) 

So in short, can't wait to start wrapping up the presents and making cinnamon-orange sticks to put in the stockings so they smell of Christmas, and adklgjlkah. Best time of year for me. 

Winter Wonderland~

So of course maybe I am being a bit early when I see, Christmas is just around the corner, but between now and then, life is going to be a tad bit on the jam packed side. Hence, here goes with my Christmassy fashion ideals. 

♡

I think it obviously goes without saying that UGGS and jumpers are a big thing in my life, not to mention knit circle scarves, kind of a fetish. I feel a bit superficial talking about things like this actually, but to be honest it's quite lovely being 'normal', so to say as opposed to completely dolally. 

And of course, we come to breakfast, didn't really eat much today - very ill, still recovering from sever food poisoning during the MUN week. Ew, never again. So boring. All I got out of it was a good thing to put on my CV, and a very messy toilet. 

-cough-

So a mini kind of blueberry-strawberry power shake. It was alright, I just felt very sick for the rest of the day, probably due to this damn bug, fingers crossed it leaves soon.

Tomorrow is a day of pure work, wish me luck. ♡

Breakfast and Monday Blues (19.11.12)

Really goddamn tired this morning, had trouble even considering getting out of bed, feel really damn ill, blocked nose, sore throat, on top of food poisoning from last week, I think I may die.
It's hard to consider the fact that I have another five weeks of school, something I can't even begin to consider facing to be honest, as I'm feeling really exhausted of all the work I'm being expected to complete, speaking of which these CAS hours are a bitch to get and I cannot be bothered with it for the moment... Procrastination~~~~
Worse still, I didn't bring a lunch to school, meaning eating about five or six pears for lunch alkgjjlkahjlakhjlkdjh.

Throwbacks and such ♡

I remember making this lunch aggggeeeees ago when I went with my dad to a museum and I still think it was the best one ever. It was like in 2010, and this was all part of recovery and everything and yeah... I don't know just it's nice to feel nostalgic about things once in a while I guess.

And thiiiis is what I live off when I go to my grandma's house, as she's very much a carnivore. Honestly I feel quite angry that I live in Germany where they sell like nothing nice, mainly meat and all that, and ugh. I get such baaaad heartburn from it it's kept me awake at night sobbing, pretty traumatic. 

Anywayyyy end of the nostalgic twilight kinda post here, I'm tired and off to bed to brace myself for tomorrow, going to be a living sort of personal hell. ♡

Thoughts on 'recovery' and intakes...

I don't mean to be a negative bitch, or anything, and I realize I talk about it a lot, but this is sort of also a very private little-known blog so I guess it's okay. Anyway, I wish people wouldn't talk about food or what they eat in a day... Like I get it's 'normal' but it doesn't seem normal, why do we obsess and feel the need to talk about how much we eat in a day? Why do we do it? More importantly why does every teenage girl I know do it? It seems to be an obsession - a compulsive need, almost and quite frankly, my dear I don't give a damn. It makes me feel awfully triggered when I have to listen to it...
I'm starting a diet next week, because I'm sort of done being fat. Yes it's healthy and everything and no I'm not starving myself, I just hope people don't bother me about it because I don't want to talk about it... I don't want to have to explain myself to every Tom, Dick and Harry!! It's just stupid! I'm genuinely going to get pissed off about it if I have to hear somebody question me, it's my own damn business my good lord. -.-
In other news, I quite like the tracking of the meals I eat through photographs, makes me feel a lot less out of control of it, and more able to keep on top of things, so I think I'm going to ask my parents for a camera for Christmas along with a few Forever 21 items... ;)
The meal above is just a bowl of Oatmeal topped with fresh autumnal fruits - absolutely lovely! ♡♡

cheap quality

Things that make me happy don't make other people as happy haha. I actually really like the pink shirt (H&M). <3

 So, here's some highstreet fashion, because I'm a cheap bitch xo.

Oh good lord, here is the kind of breakfast and lunch and dinner I eat. All the time. Because I need to lose weight before I kill myself.